--8:00 A.M.:  Wake up from awful dream I had to do things like "work" and "pay bills."

--9:00 A.M.:  Breakfast.  Something I can eat while holding a spoon with my pinky extended.

--10:30 A.M.:  Sit in hospital room alone.  Ironically, fantasize about being an obese cat lady in the Midwest.

--1:00 P.M.:  Play "Words with Aristocrats".

--2:30 P.M.:  Shoot peasants from hospital window for sport.

--5:15 P.M.:  Make deal with Prince Harry that I'll keep my top on around cameras if he does the same with his pants.

--6:05 P.M.:  Get hospital bill.  Forward it to British taxpayers.

--8:00 P.M.:  Look at sonogram of unborn baby.  Notice the crown.  Oooh, that's gonna hurt.

--10:30 P.M.:  Sleep.  Have a terrible nightmare that I suddenly have to pay taxes, contribute to society, or do SOMETHING to justify my ludicrous wealth and fame.